A tribute to Bev the woman whose womb I came.

As a very young child I had been forced into the foster care system and eventually adopted. I have 2 biological brothers that stayed behind. Through my life I always wondered why. I lived in fear of being rejected, with the feeling of abandonment and a huge loss of belonging. Even after being away from my birth family for 18 years and finally reuniting first by phone these feelings continued. I've never been able to understand just why things happened. It's out of my comprehension why. My birth mom and I talked it out and I heard my birth father's side of the story but something was just not clear. I just couldn't wrap it up why a little girl would be taken from her mother but not her brothers. I always wondered if I was not worthy. It took me my whole life, a reunion and eventually my spiritual growth to put some of this to rest. As a huge part of my spiritual healing I've learned to listen to God about what he has to say about all of this. I still don't understand it but I've learned that it's not meant for me to understand. It's for me to trust in Him. The Lord did give my birth family and I a second chance and that came in June 1995 when we reunited in the flesh. That's a story for another time. 

Tonight's poem is entitled: Someone Must Know. All my life I searched for these answers and through my faith the Lord has placed in my heart the reasons why my Mom and I ever had to say good bye. My birth mother passed away 16years ago(now 18 years), it hurts every day and I miss her like crazy; but I know that one day we will have yet another reunion. The best reunion. Eternity. God Love Us All!

The photo below is one of the last photos of the two of us before her passing.

Someone Must Know

Taken from her mother’s arms

To a place she’s never known

Not sure where she will go

But someone must know

Why must this be?

How come Momma can’t take care of me?

But someone must know

Years pass by ; She still asks why?

Who are they?

Where have they gone?

But someone must know

Will they come for me?

Trapped and alone

Must get through on her own

Hopeful and fearful she presses on

But someone must know

A moment is all she wants

To see them and hold them

To tell them she missed them

Why is it taking so long?

But someone must know

Have they forgotten me?

Am I not worthy?

Where is my mom in whose womb I came?

I want to be there again but cannot

But someone must know

Where this girl’s place ought to be

To whom does she belong?

Why must she feel she’s done wrong?

Oh please dear Lord are you that someone who knows?

Can you heal her woes?

And set her free?

Guide her please to a place of peace

Peace for her heart, peace for her soul

Pave the path you’ve drawn for her

With hopes, dreams and blessings of love

All that come from above

Heal her pain ; Extend her your grace

But most of all Lord I ask you now

Place inside her heart the reasons why

The little girl and her mom had ever to say goodbye.